My Imaginary Black Belt

Recently I tested for my Black Belt. Well……my imaginary Black Belt.

After 5 years of studying Tae Kwon Do from two martial artists I truly respect and who to this day, I consider among two of my most significant mentors during my teenage years, I was invited (encouraged;) to test for my black belt. In our school, one did not request to test for black belt. Neither was there a schedule upon which you knew, after this many hours or this much work, you could test. You tested when they essentially felt you had already earned it. You were just required to show it formally, the final “pressure of the test” an acceptance of the honour and sealing the next step being taken.

Although my formal martial arts training didn’t start until I was 15 yrs old, like many of us I  imagine, my martial arts training began when I was young. It began with watching the Karate Kid and an assortment of other martial arts films. Hahaha. That’s okay. Let it out. On the surface it may seem kind of silly. But know that for many who read this, there is truth in it. Included were various medieval films or books, wherein knights and warriors upheld a code (whether established or personal) to which they dedicated their lives. With my upbringing and the blessing of an amazing family, a very strong spiritual foundation was also being laid.

So the principles traditionally upheld by martial arts were developing within. And lucky for me, they did not stay in the realm of theoretical. I was put to the test every single day. Whether it was in facing the extreme environment I grew up in or fighting for my life. Yes, “fighting for my life” might sound a little excessive. But on many an occasion it was the truth. Ego was squelched. Character was forged. Focus and drive ignited. And tempering it all into a productive maelstrom so it didn’t tear me apart. So when I finally came to Tae Kwon Do, I met with a physical expression of the internal process I’d already been undergoing for years.

The totality of what martial arts was “traditionally” used to develop, holds immense value for me. It means alot. More so than the style of the art practiced or the rank held within it.

As anyone would be, just getting the vote of confidence from those I admired and trusted, was uplifting and made me excited at the idea of testing for my black belt. In the end however, I didn’t test. There was another opportunity I was being invited to take part in, which when it came down to it, was also very important to me. And it wasn’t necessarily going to come along again. Whereas I knew I was a martial artist for life. The black belt will come. Well the next chance I had to test came around, simultaneously following in it’s shadow, a similar endeavour to the previous one that made for a very difficult decision. But just as before, this was in service to others and my black belt…..well, my black belt was for me. Once again, no test.

To this day I never did test for it. Do I regret it? Not one bit. I went with my gut and it was right on the money. Interestingly enough, I came to a sudden realization about a year ago.  That in part, though unconscious at the time, was the fact that I didn’t want to test for my black belt. Though others felt I had, I did not feel I earned it. For me, the black belt is a symbol of the time, sweat equity and commitment to mastery put in. And I had always felt like I wanted to put more time in, that I could do so much more and go so much further in my practice then I did. But I was involved in so many other activities, that the time just didn’t permit. And I hadn’t made it a priority. But finally, I got my chance to follow through in the way I’d always wanted to.

I’ve been training in Circular Strength Training (CST) for the last 2.5 years. I’ve been a trainer of CST for the last 1.5 years. When I came colliding into it, like TKD, I found a physical practice that complimented my internal process. Only this time, I knew what I wanted to put into it. I have trained myself in CST every…single….day, for the last 2.5 years. I have worked very hard to continue my mastery  of this system. With the realization last year that I felt I hadn’t earned my black belt test, also came the understanding that my CST practice was in fact my martial art. Everything I was pouring into it (and what I am continuing to gain from it) mirrored what martial arts is to me and has to offer us in our growth. And with that, acknowledging that, should my certification as a CST Head Coach with RMAX International eventually come to fruition, it would represent, for me, my black belt test.

I did not force my development through the Coaching stream. I pursued it further as I felt moved to do so, allowing my internal gauge of whether I’d put enough in, in my eyes, to at least attempt certification. After that it was up to my coaches. Frankly, I was detached from the result, as it wasn’t the title that was important. A few weeks ago, I came to my “black belt” test. A rigorous 5 day examination, for my attempt at CST Head Coach and TACFIT Team Leader certifications. My goal was to put my best foot forward, regardless of the end result. It wasn’t about earning my certifications. It was about earning the opportunity to test and that I did so to the very best of my current abilities. I felt I followed through on my end, and that made it a success. It was one of the most fulfilling weekends of my life.

And the best part about all this? It wasn’t just for me this time. Well it was for me, but it included doing it for all those I have trained, train and have yet to train. My further mastery of this system will continue to improve what I can offer others in their path to bettering their lives.

This humble attempt, for whatever it was worth, is dedicated to my TKD instructors Vlado Brisjc and Dana Rasiah, who saw in me perhaps more than I saw in myself. This is my following through and not leaving in vain, an invitation to go beyond. Thank you.

It is dedicated to my current coaches, Scott Sonnon, Ryan Murdock, Ryan Hurst, Brandon Jones, Joe Wilson and Jarlo Ilano, who have, each in there own unique way as dictated by their gifts, been instrumental in guiding me along, giving me the nudges that helped me stay on the path to exponential progress and growth, both personally and vocationally. Thank you.

Finally, it is dedicated to my Team. Fellow CST Head Coach Candidates John Wolf and Jeffery  Larson. To our fellow Coaches and Instructors, all going the distance with a common vision of bringing something to the world that goes beyond us as individuals. It gets there through us and what we each uniquely have to offer. But we do so together. Keep crushing it!

And yes, I earned my Black Belt…..well, my imaginary Black Belt. 😉

Dare to Evolve,
Shane.